And I'm Saying Goodbye
by RayneSummer
Summary: "And I, will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love... and I'm saying goodbye. Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. And I will follow you. Say something... I'm giving up on you" Tag to 9.23


**Theme:** Sam & Dean, character death, love, brothers

**Disclaimer: ***creying too much to answer* (means nope)

**Tags: **to 9.23, Do You Believe In Miracles

**Words: **

* * *

_And I am feeling so small  
__Goes over my head  
__I'm nothing at all  
__And I will stumble and fall  
__Still learning to love  
__Just starting to crawl_

Sam is gentle.

His voice is urgent, but quiet and hushed. Shaking with fear, he moves Dean's hand to press a cloth to the fatal wound. Metatron stabbed him in the chest. Even Sam knows he can't survive this; Mark or not, Dean is still human.

"Sammy, you've got to get out of here before he comes back," Dean tries to tell his brother, voice weak and fading, like his life.

Sam's voice shakes as he replies, "shh, shh," quieting Dean the way his big brother did when he was a small child, crying from a graze on his knee. "Just save your energy, alright."

He makes promises he can't possibly keep, and Dean knows it. Dean knows he's dying, but he doesn't mind any more. He's in the care of the one person he's sure he loves and he couldn't feel safer, despite his life ebbing away, soon to be gone.

Sam pulls him up, supporting him, and starts to practically carry him towards the exit. The words 'I can carry you' echo in Dean's mind - another promise broken. That left them nowhere but continual fights, all through the year. Yet here was Sam, having come for him. He came back for Dean. And that is enough.

"What happened to you being okay with this?" Dean asks, his voice cracking as he tries and fails to breathe, blood drowning him from the inside out.

Sam is grim as he answered expectedly, "I lied." He keeps Dean upright and urges them towards the exit, to do what about his dying brother once they are out God only knows.

Dean tries to smile but barely manages to gasp back, "ain't that a bitch."

They have only gone a few more steps when Dean's legs give out and he can't possibly stand. He coughs and gasps for breath as Sam stops them and carefully leans Dean up against a piece of equipment in the warehouse they are in, watching his big brother because he in the only thing in Sam's world right now.

Attempting to get enough breath to talk - he just needs to stay conscious for another minute, just to say goodbye to Sammy - Dean raises his head on his own, enough to look his little brother in the eye.

"I'm proud of us," he tells Sam, and pats his face. Sam's face crumples at his touch, knowing exactly what this is. This is Dean's final goodbye.

Dean studies his little brother's face. The way his hazel eyes are bright with tears that will spill over the second Dean is gone. This is the face of the man that Dean has raised, has loved, has sold his sold for, and would die for as many times as needed. This is the face of the little brother that looks five years old again, and asking his big brother to make it all better. This is the only person in the world Dean is sure he loves.

And then the light in his eyes fades, and he falls forward, Sam easily catching him, holding Dean to his chest for a minute before realising what this means. Immediately he brings his big brother upright again, takes Dean's blood covered face in his hands, takes in his brother's closed eyes, cooling skin and pale lips.

"Hey, hey. Wake up, buddy. Dean. ...Dean?" Sam tries anyway, shaking Dean a little to wake him, as if he is asleep. Tears come as Sam cries out in despair, "Dean!"

The call of the older brother's name echos another, from years ago; that fateful night that Dean cradled his little brother in his arms, not caring about the mud under their knees or the blood that covered his brother's back and his hand.

Sam closes his eyes as the tears fall, water staining his face as he pulls his big brother into him, cradling Dean against his chest, his shoulders shaking with racking sobs, tears falling onto his brother's shoulder.

Slowly, Sam's legs give out, his emotional grief not able to let his physical strength keep him standing. He sinks to the ground, letting Dean fall with him. He gathers his big brother in his arms and cries his broken heart out. Once again, one Winchester has fallen, and the other is not more than a shell of who he was, already willing to fill the gaping hole with deals and lies that demons come with.

Sam Winchester cradles his brother in his arms and lets his tears fall as the night once again echos with the loss of a broken man.

_And I swallow my pride  
**You're the one that I love**  
**And I'm saying goodbye**  
Say Something I'm giving up on you  
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
And I will follow you  
Say Something I'm Giving Up On you_


End file.
